jeezeus.
time flies.
hahahaha, but i have things to account for with all that time spent gone.
soooo, what have i been doing? this & that.
the journey:
learning about this world, this body, this self. its crazy how much will reveal itself if you just stare at it intently.
i started off scared, cold, shaken. but i knew i had to get somewhere. there was no point in staying in pitiful discomfort.
so i inched out of the cave. one muscle movement at a time.
reminds me of kitsungi-
the Japanese art of fixing broken ceramic with seams made of gold. a mistake, a breaking turned into something more beautiful than the original.
this concept makes me smile.
i will be honest with you. i broke. i crashed, smashed, plummeted, railed, fell.
i ignored myself, i sought the numbing of my existence too blind to see the life that was to be had. my mentality was adorned with adolescence. nothing was my fault, i blamed the dealer for the hand that i was dealt. problem was being too prideful to learn the rules. foolish ignorance of not knowing / understanding the game.
i needed the fall. the graceless, self driven plight to the bottom, which once i hit, i cracked. and through that crack a piece of light shown through. a small sliver of a ray. although tiny, it shined with magnificent brilliance. it warmed up my being, gave awareness to the lightness of life. with this lightness i rose. im still rising.
im rising,
im smiling,
im grasping,
im attaining,
im passionate,
im breathing,
im seeing,
i am
i am alive.
