Pretend as if it's not really me experiencing these things, but an outside third party. Makes things more bearable. Ya think that maybe it has something to do with when I mentally left that one time?
Lately, my perception has eased into:
nothing even matters.
It's a concoction of hakuna matata, who cares, things will be alright, we're just specks floating in space, life is a game (a tragic comedy of a game), and a dash of delirious laughter.
A mixture so sweet, you'll wonder why we are capable of stressing as the magnificent, curious creatures that we are.
You see, I teeter between opposite poles. From caring a whole bunch about my life, the world, environment and what's morally just to not giving a flying hoot 'BOUT NUFFIN! I flitter between why not and why bother. Everyday, I wrangle my emotions. Strain to fit them to what the day requires. Roping in the courage to take on the days tasks.
INT. EARLY MORNING, BEDROOM
7:30AM: "get up. Seriously, get your butt up!"
8:00AM: "feed yourself"
9:00AM: "get off of Facebook, you have three Urgent items on your to-do list!"
9:30AM: "you really need to get off of the computer. Please don't go to back to bed, please."
10:00AM: "you still have your to-do lost!!"
And then the other voice chimes in:
"Have a shot to get your day going, ease the burden of beginning your day. Or! Maybe get yourself a double shot of espresso and smoke a cigg to get yourself into gear? You know you can always just smoke a little and slide yourself into not doing anything, right?"
loose as a goose, (whatever that means. Who actually knows the reputations of geese???) but that's how I feel, like I'm slipping and climbing in the same breadth
